I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
