he wants to bone in the snuggie
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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