I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
