Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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