Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
