i just google imaged poop.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
