I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
