All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
