i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
