You can't motorboat a personality
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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