do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
