I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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