well I can't set my house on fire every night
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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