i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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