he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
