what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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