fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize