you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
