Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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