He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
