The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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