So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
