The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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