I think i sorta joined a cult last night
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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