Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
