I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have fence marks all over my body
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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