did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The Olympian is in my bed
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