i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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