I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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