have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
