covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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