You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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