Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
