so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
