I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize