I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
