dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
