I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize