I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
