Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize