There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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