i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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