I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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