Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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