i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
