I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize