hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize