party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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