I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
