in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
