I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
did i walk over a car last night?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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