I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
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about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
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I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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