Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
