the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
